I must be too annoying 4 u.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I want a musical about memes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
