I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
