Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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