Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
