Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
