Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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