i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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