But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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