...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
