Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
