I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
