Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
