Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
