Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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