Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
