Its about making memories worth repressing
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Houston, we have a blender
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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