tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize