i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize