help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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