just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize