im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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