My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
