He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
