no. you can't hotbox the world.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
