when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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