he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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