I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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