The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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