When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
