oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
