I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
