Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
