what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I cut my penus on the lid.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
