This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You ruined the universe
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
