So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
