The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize