YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
