He asked to "fluff my boner.."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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