there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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