So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
