I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
