The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
