Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
