Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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