My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's official drugs can't kill me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
