I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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