So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
