he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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