we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
