Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
