i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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