she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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