i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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