9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
