why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
