walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
