very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize