clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
