Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
