if you like me you must not know who I am
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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