exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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