Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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