I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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