we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
