We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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